Ordinary, anyone?

how one song can change your (virtual) life

2009-05-03T20:14:00.003+08:00

alrighty livejournal here i come!

(qweroperipognes.livejournal.com)

the fwrang of the frangrris wheelz

2009-05-03T03:08:00.003+08:00

3:08 AM HELLO WORLD!

phwoar doodes, my pi is now word count: 514 - i am the happy!
thanks x10000 ahlau for proofreading + cutting i finally found out how to read your comments hehe

anyways i am in deep shite because i took a very long (and overdue mind you) afternoon nap today after falling asleep on the 2nd page of intermediate bonding gwargh
WHUT is the difference btwn ionic character in a covalent bond and covalent character in an ionic bond can't you just be a normal damn bond :((((

so i haven't finished either chem asgn yet and i still have to make rubles for the ih skit thingum and do my bio photosynthesis + math tutorial bwarghhhh.
spent the last half an hour watching the thunderstorm. nature has it's ways.

oh that reminds me. the theosophy lecture on death and after on friday night was sokay but "there is no religion higher than truth"? that's quite a bit of an assumption. and i had a sudden attack of the laughteritis during the meditation period and had to pinch meself hugely on my thigh to stop and damn the spot is still sore.

OH and i finally get why you have to get a good grade in H2 Mathematics to study psychology in the U cos apparently a few books that i looked at in the theosophy library quoted mathematicians at the front, middle and back. which is like, practically the whole book z. oh boy you wont believe this: PYTHAGORAS IS V. DEVOTED TO THE ART OF HEALING?!?!

do you even know how many of my brain cells frizzled while i was trying to grasp the pythagoras triangle and trigo stuff?!

ah anyways. i have many homeworks to finish or i will be slaughtered by the onslaught of new work next week. i see it coming...

Purchases = Happy

2009-04-29T21:27:00.001+08:00

clockwise from top left: ipanema classica sen thong; sally hansen hard as nails sheer strawberry series; otis spunkmeyer chocochip, cheesestrussel, banananut

money spent is happy me hoho.

cross our hearts

2009-04-28T16:49:00.004+08:00

Curiology - Alie Ward

an upcoming week spent with tissue and endless snot - Not a happy week.

my viral fever somewhere last week finally gave way to nasal congestion and swollen nose. stayed home today because I sound like a choked toiletbowl and don't want to inflict this on anyone else bleuuugh. don't know how I'm going to get all the heavy bio stuff past the fluids in my nose into my brain for tomorrow though D: then I have other serious work to do, ugh the holidays seem so far away.

chick lit and otis spunkmeyer muffins ftwwwww.
oh yeah, last week's chocolate chunk free cone with sl peeps made the queue so much more enjoyable. i needed that one :D dinner & exploring national geo with edmund weikai winata @ carls jr was hilarious! chilli sauce fights, pang lookalikes and laughing really really hard.

but right now the medicine makes me feel like i could just sleep for the rest of my life. meh.

willpower for fifty cents

2009-04-19T12:07:00.003+08:00

isn't there something easier to do, than live?

those weeks and days they peel away slowly into murky nothingness, but too quick to grab hold of and bring back. 2am nights spent with orange lighting and incorrect posture. songs on my ipod become socially obsolete, but downloading and resyncing has become too long, too tedious. the radio will suffice.

CMC template, Math Asgn 4, Math Rev Ws, Enzymes Asgn, Report, Draft 3

My lyfe would suck without you (haha)

2009-04-16T19:59:00.003+08:00

This might sound meaningless cos I'm probably just high on estrogen but your smile made my day (somebody who i haven't seen in really quite long) and i really appreciate it after these weeks of being buried under a lot of paper & content i haven't managed to digest (:

walking the high wire

2009-04-15T22:08:00.002+08:00

my parents have decided that we will renovate my room, and being 17 obviously means larger bargaining power for they have finally relented to my pleas and so, i get to paint my own room any damned pastel colour i like! i am going to get all my furniture from ikea this time round and on the list are things like a ginormous closet for my intended GSS + uniqlo splurges and a decently larger shelf with those dehumiliser thingums to store my fiction. so many titles i want to buy and read! kazuo ishiguro, jonathan foer, neil gaiman, more from the LBD series ahhhhhh.

but all that will have to come in june after six more dreadful weeks of school and CTs in two weeks' time. and im going to have to miss watching adam lambert on A idol tonight cos i've got a gazillion homework items to complete like the pi pesa bio math sea ):

A little stronger, a little thicker, a little more harmful

2009-04-13T22:22:00.002+08:00

These days I have a craving that's only ever overwhelmed by music. It rings in my head everytime I'm around people, or when I'm not thinking of anything in particular. I think I might know what it is, but I don't want to know for sure, because its not something I can just walk out and buy. It has to come, by itself, at the right time. Timing is everything.

sunless skies and midwest mondays

2009-04-12T20:50:00.003+08:00

i haven't had the time/motivation to get started on any decent work and saturday didn't make things any better. i shouldn't have let those emotions run from me, but when things don't tie together, factor in a few doses of stubborness and inconsideration, not making the mark - those things make all that effort staying up late on heavy reading and trying to multitask everything futile, useless and insignificant.

it is more than a little difficult to feel positive nowadays. i cannot find joy in anything else other than those late night conference calls previously, now and hopefully in the future. because people have no time to listen anymore, and when they do, it doesn't matter already.

i feel more wrecked with every schoolday, the multitudes of information i am expected to process but not use in life is utterly depressing, the hegemony in school is nothing less than detestful. with every conversation i am more inclined to believe that we are all minions working toward a noble, shining communal reputation that wouldn't even belong to us when we leave, and that there are people blindly dedicated to it. sigh.
but i can and i will, breakthrough on my own.

Goodnight moon we'll find the mouse, and -

2009-04-06T21:21:00.009+08:00

HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED
AH LAU<3 and DAVID LEE ZE CHINESE PRO!

I went shopping today after school and decided that I liked Polo by Ralph Lauren very very much and am going to buy the navy-blue collared shirt with UNITED STATES/ENGLAND and the NO. 3 printed on the back :D

the difficulty of thought

2009-04-05T17:59:00.002+08:00

I went to the cable-ski park yesterday night to sit at the far edge of the water and demanded to be left alone. It might not have been the right thing to do. But it is not the wholeness of disappointment that makes it so strangled and gasping, halving it wouldn't do any good. Time, yes. Time will eat away at its roots.

I was certain that then, I was still thinking. And I might have found a rational answer, but I lost any memory of it after fifteen hours of long, disturbingly dreamless sleep. I thought that I had work to return to, other commitments to bury my self in. For a few hours I walked around the house, flipping Saturday's papers and stopping abruptly at a report on the G-20. I watched television, put on a CD, played a computer game but nothing seemed to help.

At 3PM in the afternoon I was still in my pyjamas. Then I remembered all I had to do was read. I picked up Chocolat, finished it where I left off and that gave me some hope. I did Matilda after that, and I'm a hundred eighty-eight into Ruth Reichl. With every page I was in Paris, the gypsy boats, in the English kitchen with the paraffin stove. In the past hour I've been to a French feeding camp, Arab teahouses in Tunisia, Michigan to New York and back again.

It lifted me a little, but only when I look at the text on sullied pages, printed on straight, comforting lines and I know, that they cannot run far.

I came to write because the chawanmushi is still on the stove, and I still have work to do.

How long does it take to change your reflexes?
How long will it take for you to realise a calling?

The soul afraid of dying that never learns to live

2009-04-02T21:33:00.002+08:00

The afternoon was heavy, and remembering that particular afternoon i overheard was equally bad but unloading it made it feel like it was archived, and i can do without it. Maybe im not brave enough, not rude enough. Walls don't have ears, but people do. And yujun's right, i should be doing what i like and not be wavered by anyone else.

Reading Tender at the Bone made me think about the food i've grown up around. My mother is the complete opposite of Ruth's, i never really noticed the painstakingly meticulous way she will sift through every spinach leaf and peel the hardened part of the stems off until I ate those hard, occassionally brown ones from the stalls out of home. My mother would never have anything but fresh food in the house, which means that she goes to the market once every two days to pick fresh cod, tofu and broccoli that is always present in the freezer. We are prohibited from consuming anything that comes even close to the expiry date, and i have never seen mold on bread, ever.

Some people cook for the sake of cooking out of necessity, but my mother cooks with a generous dose of love. She never cooks when she is angry, moody, or senseless, because she knows that even herself wouldn't be able to down the most extragavant dishes cooked in that frame of mind. We have no microwave oven in the house, my mother wouldn't see anything of them. To her, food that is cooked is meant to be eaten while hot, heated food would defeat the whole purpose of having 3 meals a day. "You might as well have all your meals at one go," she would say very curtly.

I didn't grow up around my mother's kitchen. I grew up peering over her mother-in-law's stove. Before my mother stopped working, I lived with my grandmother, whose cooking my mother never did really approve of. My grandmother cooks on a whim, based on instinct, which is ultimately the least stressful method to cook for the ten children she raised. My mother, on the other hand, would plan every ingredient she used for the next meal.

My grandmother, depending on her mood, would buy different things. Most part of my memories elude me, but she once carried home a whole duck, complete with petrified eyes and a beak by the neck and put it into a large pot to brew. She put it on the tiny dinner table and showed me how exactly to cut up the duck before giving me a chunk of breast meat, which is actually the tastiest part and not the commonly thought drumsticks, while she herself sucked on the neck.

So I grew up tasting braised pig's trotters, tender cheek flesh of fish, thick-smelling mutton soup and potatoes stuffed with sardine cubes. The way my grandmother cooked was almost careless, pouring water and throwing bits of sliced pork, cabbage and shrimps into fried fish, but it would taste fabulous. The only thing I never experienced when young was spicy food, which is something I am still trying to grapple with, because sambal overwhelms the original salty taste of fish from the sea.

I lived with my aunt during the holidays, and the only meal she would make would be spaghetti out of a box, and button mushrooms from a can. I feel relieved that her maids are somewhat experienced. My mother makes spaghetti too - from scratch. The gravy would be pumped out of fresh market tomatoes and the oregano sprinkled on, the abalone mushrooms from Cold Storage.

Oh i could go on and on, i hope i haven't bored you till death if you read all that, but i have work to do and i'll probably continue writing privately another day (:

More than you do

2009-03-30T22:19:00.002+08:00

Why does everybody like to take the more controversial stand? I am stressed dsakldjalkdshfbds the very. Sometimes I really don't get human nature, and I don't want to go too deep into it either, would most probably end up choking on human relation knots; but everything (at least academic and by extension harhar i learnt how to use this pwhase, everything else in life) demands for it!

With knowledge comes progress, but learning about how people are innately selfish/power-hungry/violent/sometimes rude just makes me feel tremendously guilty about being human and not being able to do anything about it, because if I were to eliminate those traits from my mere mortal frame, me and my ideas if any would get trodden over, crushed, flipped around and crushed again.

Makes life a lot more sickening than it already is.
Actually I am extremely tired, I haven't had my dose of monday television, I have to read about K War and write substantives plus complete the lipids asgn. Forget UN, I need to be more efficient already.

Temperaments of thighs, things and tunnels

2009-03-29T17:37:00.002+08:00

It appears that my bout of happiness (false and temporary i know but wtvr) seems rather lasting! And with it comes the mood to imprint it onto this very intangible webpage. It is extremely logical to remember only the happy things and forget about how many days i spent stressing over undone work and wrong impressions.

I have just finished cutting out 8 newsppr articles to make the grand quota of 18 and conclude that I h8 newspprs. Can't shave off the bigass photograph above each article although i want to which usually serves no purpose but for you to identify the person, in which case they are usually criminals or students or foreign workers, not very cute nor memorable z.

I spent saturday aftnn at my granma's place and watched infinitely long and grannyish hongkong drama serials that i struggle to catch the chinese subtitles of. My chinese is very much gone, sadly :( My mother says my loss isn't very significant because i never had much chinese to speak of anyway -.-

Spent the wee hours of the morning at with my paternal extensions at the columbarium, it is so much less smoky at midnight. Walking into the place at 7am onwards is literally putting you at double the risk of lung cancer, and if i might mention, join the ranks sooner than you should have eh. Observed a gazillion traditions that I would never have remembered from early childhood at the place.

We went to Tanglin Mall to get my sister's leotard today (extremely skimpy piece of black rubber for dancing) and shopped for stationery at Kino, bought a nice top from Espirit while my parents had lunch at Starbucks. Boring day.

Ah okay I have a lot of homework to do and am having serious trouble with chemistry bleh.

P.S. If anyone can make a complete ambigram of "History and Current Affairs Society" please contact me because I have tried a million ways and you CANNOT shrink 'and' into 'affairs' NEATLY. Well you can, but it would be an unintelligible, messy pile of twines.

Why does a computer program know me better than anyone else does?

2009-03-28T15:54:00.001+08:00

Oh dear, this is really creepy. Some parts are particularly true.

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

bye bye orlando bloom,

2009-03-28T15:00:00.000+08:00

HELLO HUGH DANCY!

you know that thing when you see someone cute and he smiles and your heart kind of goes like hot butter sliding down hot toast? well it's like that when i see a store... only better.

a man can never treat you the same way a store does, and even if your man doesn't fit, you can exchange him for another within 7 days.

muacks.

Shopaholic has restored my faith in almost everything (: I could only take so many GP lessons about the still non-existent status of women, how everything is made in china and just packaged differently, that advertising is killing the world, that RETAIL THERAPY IS FALSE HAPPINESS.

How Elizabeth Gilbert tells me in my nightmares that my flair for poetry is probably not mine but my daemon's, how human brains can be easily manipulated; I can only take so much.
My world filled with happy yellow beaming people turned black and crooked.

Hence, emo phase.
I loved the show, I loved the life window display mannequins, I loved Becky's pink Macbook, I loved the last scene when Luke gave her the green scarf! Derek Smeath in the book was Bex's 'Darling Smeathy' who extended her overdraft whenever she needed it but he was a huge (not to mention super ugly) moron in the show. He deserved it anyways. Alicia Billington was as bitchy as expected, I LOVED SUZE I THINK SHE'S SO PRETTY :) I thought the show wasn't too detailed and boring but it covered like the major events so i didn't really find anything starkingly missing.

I really hope they make a sequel before my temporary happiness wears off

and they HAVE to keep him!

i think, therefore i am

2009-03-05T22:38:00.001+08:00

hello it's thursday night the days have been crazy. i still have no idea whywhywhy i took h2 math + sciences. read olivia's carol ann duffy and fell in love with the poems. flunked math and very nearly biology (cilia is NOT in the learning outcomes i checked), missing history essays, late nights, jaygees and impromtus. this is only the beginning.

project work coming up right after march hols, jcdcs in april, i don't even sound coherent. i feel stretched, but not yet the limit. i want to go out shopping for stationery, watch a fugly movie, go swimming in the frigging pool downstairs, buy maxi dresses and eat good ice cream. so little time.

As if nostalgia means you did not die

2009-03-02T21:35:00.000+08:00

Cataracts grow and spread over the old bark
Blurred vision, like the fading; faded double yellow lines
Along the road uphill.

A man rushes past, with the winds at his
underarms, climalite heavy with perspiration
Philippino maid with a basket of limp veggies
heading toward madam's kitchen

She sees the cooking cleaning washing laundry;
messy beds of tomorrow's children
in every ray of the evening sun.

Provoking the pedestrians they shun
under the miserly shade of thin, bare trees the
gahment sends dark workers - melanine in their sleeves
- shift jack chop the hard grown branches fall

nobody to witness its contact with the ground except
the unforgiving cement and its
army of insects living on the outskirts:

white algae continues to cloud our judgement.

CHARMAINE CHAN 020309

we'll fabric you in love

2009-03-01T00:15:00.000+08:00

and go where they'll never find us
(erase my name from your memory)

So many emotions this week i went through and am grateful i went through.
So many people to learn from, how to attain victory but keep the fine line between competency and arrogance, but I guess I will cross the bridge when I come to that.
I find it difficult to hold on to my thoughts, my reactions, strong opposing ideas are so clear for a second, but those disintegrate as they speak, and I fail to recapture them.

I did a random google search on my name after sending the Pre U Sem peeps to the mrt and was extremely shocked to have found quite a few other exact me(s) plus surnames at that, all of which have piercings other than the legitimate earlobe ones and gangsterified - I never knew settling had another meaning. I'm sincerely glad that personalities and values don't run in the names.

Three ants have attached themselves to my computer screen and are enjoying the frying radiation while they melt beside each other. It's so difficult to understand the brown creepers' mentalities, let alone theirs.

I keep using the pause button, but there isn't going to be one in the real thing. And I'm afraid that I will not be quick enough.

Kitkats are not infinite

2009-02-21T10:02:00.001+08:00

those smooth curved veined greens,
________that
____________fell
_______from
____________the
_______ tree

onto the bench of
____love, life and laughter:

did they sit by you?

because they left me
while I was
perched
______and struggling
___to
_________keep
ba___lanced
on the pine's stressed branches.
JY MYSELF FOR MATH & CHEM LECTURE TESTS + SPEECH!

What happens when you try to read your mail during free period

2009-02-19T13:14:00.000+08:00

Your teachers have a go at your work attitude.

WE HEARTZ PUNS

2009-02-18T16:29:00.001+08:00

C: No evil strawberries!
Woo: But my evil strawberries are nice!
C: ...
Woo: Jhosy likes them!
Woo proceeds to draw an evil strawberry on Jhosy's math notes
C: So you have a fan!
Woo: And Kaylene thinks they're cute *smugly*
C: ...
C: So you have two fans!
Woo: It's so cold in here.

Less napkins More Planet

2009-02-13T22:22:00.000+08:00

Hello i have no idea how to consume five lollipops and three handfuls of assorted chocolates without getting constipated for the rest of my life. But THANKS FOR ALL YOUR LURVEX <3

I overslept on the 963 and ended up at BP Plaza, was about to drag myself to the opposite bus stop and my throat was so parched and I swear our school's watercooler filters are useless when i saw those DARK GREEN UMBRELLAS and the mermaid (!!!)

So BP has Starbucks and WM has stupid miserable coffee bean bleh. I got this coffee frappucino with extra cream and the guy at the counter gave me this free sample of blueberry muffin (and you know how much muffins cost there). Made it a point to get my coffee fixes from there next time (: I put obscene amounts of chocolate powder in my whipped cream - and sat down to watch a quarrel over power plugs from those laptop addicts in the shop.

Meh I KNOW Starbucks keeps their frigging taps on 24/7 but I don't really care because I love their service; there is nothing like cheery or at least, pretend-cheery people to make my fridays better, and Coffee Bean NEVER gets my name spelt right. STB replaced their plush white serviettes with 100% recycled brown papery napkins and I think thats enough.

So I dip Huiyee's chocolate chip cookies into my frapp and I think of Christofu's cookies and how they taste like those Famous Amos ones and how he could actually like rival Famous A with Chris' Cookies hah! Well may cupids come onto you and i hope the arrows come out on the other side!

JIAYOU FOR LECTURE TESTS!

it'll catch up with you, it will

2009-02-11T20:50:00.000+08:00

Today my sister, all of five years old clambered onto my dad's laps at the living room table while he was watching telly and asked:

"Daddy, can you help me make a yahoo?"

"What yahoo?"
"A yahoo email! Amandy wants to send me a peekture tomorrow."

Everybody: WHAT?

Chelsea Chan
5 Years 7 Months
barbie-diamondcastle@yahoo.com.sg

?! She can't even spell 'internet' and she has a yahoo already.

I spent about hundred dollabees on things this and last month, I love Wetseal they sell amazingly cheap pee-in-your-pants hobobags (5 USD!), dresses from Hollyhoque, new wallet so I finally graduate from using my flimsy pouch and more ugh. WATCH THE MONEY WATCH THE MONEY. My horrible weakness is that I xoxo cheap things and I end up buying loads of either the same thing just to get the different colours (like my flats I keep buying them because I found those unbelievably cheap ones at Bugis/Mondo) or I just buy them because well you could always use another one you know, for gifts? My mother reminded me that I bought 7 handbags from the ONE boutique while on holiday simply because I thought the prices were really worth it! They were, okay (:

And my archives are here dont ask me anymore!

rake the leaves of repercussion

2009-02-08T18:28:00.000+08:00

your mind seems to run away
detaches itself excruciatingly
bit by bit
unnoticed.

hard work makes a man:
is it,
really?

we have places we want to be
but the thunder strikes
and

no body notices
that something is wrong.

ran away with no one

2009-02-07T14:35:00.000+08:00

gradual fades
tiny, tiny mistakes
lost chances
never return

do they.